This week, our Friday Ask the Executive Coach deals with a problem nearly everyone has experienced: the bad boss.
Q. “My boss is so difficult. What can I do?”
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A. Mary was a talented, intuitive and caring executive. She always had a positive attitude and would do anything to please her boss and her team. Unfortunately, for Mary, her boss didn’t seem to value positive or caring attitudes. All the President cared about was productivity and results.
Mary’s boss had hired me to bridge the gap between Mary’s caring attitude and getting quicker, more productive results. She was very upbeat and caring, but that sometimes meant she didn’t push her team to produce as much as they were capable of.
A recent Inc. Magazine article, “The Real Productivity Killer: Jerks,” outlined the ways in which difficult bosses are bad for business:
- 75% of employees report that their boss is the worst and most stressful part of their job
- 65% of employees would take a new boss over a pay raise
- 50% of employees who don’t feel valued by their boss plan to look for another job
- 33% of employees with bad bosses confess to not putting in maximum effort
- 29% took sick days when they were not ill because they didn’t want to deal with their bosses’ inconsistencies.
With these statistics in hand, we understand who the real productivity killer is. Mary’s difficult boss had not seen the necessity to hire a coach for herself, therefore, I wanted to make sure Mary had the coaching she needed to learn “how to function while walking over hot coals” and still move forward.
These are some of the principles I gave her to help her cope with a difficult boss:
- Honor your feelings; don’t repress your feelings. While it is true there are feelings that individuals should not allow to erupt on impulse, that doesn’t mean those feelings are not expressed. You should honor your feelings and allow yourself to experience the catharsis that comes from embracing them for what they are. Then you will express them in a manner that helps rather than hinders our ability to reach our goals.
- Prepare to change. Change is an inevitable part of life and those who fight it do so because they are struggling to remain in control. Determine if you need to change to adapt to the culture or you need to change your environment. Throwing your boss under the bus is not an option. Mary had to learn how to meet deadlines and get results without losing the values she held so dear. Her first step was learning how to communicate expectations in order to hold her team to stronger accountability.
- Determine who you are and who you want to be. Never wait for difficult circumstances to determine what you value most and what kind of a leader you want to be. Take time before difficult situations occur to write out your leadershilp philosophy holding yourself accountable to what you value most.
Mary also learned that she couldn’t please everyone. She could produce quicker, faster results through raising her own standards and everyone else on her team.
Question: Do you have a difficult boss or situation? How are you handling it? You cannot change your boss, but what’s one thing you can change to respond to him or her differently?
Please leave us a comment below with your thoughts.
