Bill could communicate–or at least, he could speak and present information. He didn’t have any problem getting in front of large groups to present his strategy. He loved putting his thoughts together to create Power Point presentations that would “wow” upper management with the facts. His strategies worked.
Unfortunately, he had trouble getting his team to implement these great strategies and carry out the actual work. Bill’s supervisor typically had to step in to get Bill’s team on board. Bill was frustrated and wanted help to understand why he couldn’t get buy-in from his own team. What he didn’t realize is that communication by itself is not enough.
For leaders to be effective, they need to move beyond simple communication to connection. In order to motivate followers to act and join in the effort you’re leading, you have to connect with people, not just present information to them. Why? Because before you ask for their help you need to touch their hearts. People need to know you care.
Bill was not alone. Even Darren Hardy, Publisher of Success magazine, wrote recently that he was surprised to discover that he often mistook communicating for connecting.
One key to connecting with others is recognizing that even in a group, you have to relate to people as individuals. In his autobiography, It Doesn’t Take a Hero, General Norman Schwarzkopf wrote, “I have seen competent leaders who stood in front of a platoon and all they saw was a platoon. But great leaders stand in front of a platoon and see it as forty-four individuals, each of whom has aspirations, each of whom wants to live, each of whom wants to do good.”
In other words, when you are speaking to an audience, you don’t try to talk to the entire group. You focus on talking to one person. That’s the only way to connect with people. And that connection motivates your followers to get things done.
I coached Bill to communicate by connecting with his people in the following ways. I began with helping him understand that whether he was talking to a team member in the hallway or in front of a large group, the formula is the same:
- Be vulnerable. Nothing is more effective than being sincere, honest and authentic.
- Know who you are. You have to have confidence in yourself if you want to connect with others. Be yourself.
- Walk your talk. People want to follow a leader who not only communicates a great message but lives it out in front of them, who practices what he’s preaching.
- Walk slowly through a crowd and make eye contact. Listening to what people say, so they know they are heard, is rare today. If you do it, you will stand out.
- Serve others. Make sure you focus your attention on others rather than on yourself by worrying about how you look and what you say.
- Believe in people. It is one thing to believe in your message but if you don’t make people feel valued before the message, they will tune you out.
- Communicate a compelling vision. People want their leaders to help them get to where they want to go and believe that it is possible.
Never underestimate the power of making connections and building relationships. If people think you truly care, they will follow you anywhere. When a leader has truly done the work of connecting with their people, you can feel and see it in action. The impact is powerful. Learn to walk slowly through the crowd and see what happens.
On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate yourself as a communicator?
If you are below an 8, start reading books on communication and practice what you learn. Join a speaking group for feedback. When you are with your employees, make connecting a top priority and see if your results change the next time you try to get buy-in.
